Special Post- "A Day in the Life of a Spaniard"

Hello everyone! Since I haven't posted in a long time, and since I won't be posting for another 2 weeks because my brother and I will be vacationing around the continent, I leave you a special post. Before I do, however, I did go somewhere this weekend, to a town nearby to see a Shakira concert, nothing really all that special, but it was really fun. She spoke in Spanish obviously, and that made us feel special somehow, somewhat spanish I guess. And speaking of being spanish, on to the second part of this post.

My friend Katie writes a blog for her school, and I looked at it the other day and she had captured a "Day in the Life of a Spaniard" very perfectly and funnily. So, thanks to Kaite, I hope you all enjoy what she has to say about the spanish. Please note the times that each activity occurs, because it gives a lot of insight into how their day works here. Hasta Luego! *Note: This description is certainly not my life in Spain or the specific life of any person, just a collection of observations (stereotypes, really) that we've all made about the spanish youth culture during our time here.*

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***Though I love the Spanish, and constantly try to modify my outward appearance and habits to appear to be one of them, I must say that they have a tendency to confuse the living hell out of me. As to not knock someone without walking a kilometer in their zapatos, I try sometimes to imagine what life might be like if I was an actual española and not a shameless imposter. What might my life consist of?

8:00- Wake up. Consider showering. Look in the mirror and check Euromullet. Think, “Yep, looks just skeezy enough.” Decide not to shower. Put on some jeans, boots, and sweater. After all, it is a warm, sunny day.

8:15- Squeeze fresh orange juice. Eat one cracker. Drink orange juice. Put on overcoat and scarf and leave house. Light up cigarette.

8:30- Wait at the bus stop and stare at some tourists wandering with a map, who ask for directions to some street you have never heard of. Give them directions anyway. Wonder if said directions are at all relevant.

11:00-12:00- Take break from hectic day. Meet up with friend/coworker/classmate at the first cafe or bar around the corner. Have a coffee with Bailey’s and a pastry. Or maybe a glass of red wine and a small plate of ham with olive oil all over it. Stare at Americans who try to pay at the counter when they order their coffee and then drink the entire thing in less time than it takes to finish stirring in a packet of sugar.

14:00-16:00- Take break from hectic day. Go to Mom’s house, and get served soup, rice, and shrimps with the heads still on. Suck gooey stuff out of shrimp head and comment on how great it tastes. Dump olive oil on rice. Eat three slices of fresh bread and put bread slices on the table instead of plate. Finish off with slices of cheese on bread. Eat an orange for dessert. Put on fleece bathrobe over clothes and watch the news or the Simpsons, followed by as many episodes of Friends as possible.
Or, if Mom’s house is far away, go to nearest restaurant and order a three-course menú del día for 10 euros. Drink a half a bottle of wine. Finish with coffee. Take as long as possible. Stare at Americans who think there is such thing as a “wait” during lunch time, as opposed to the restaurant just being full for the afternoon.

Have a cigarette. Return to work, school, or other activity of the day.

19:00- (Optional) Relax! Hectic day is over. Meet up with group of friends (greet with a kiss on each cheek) or forbidden secret lover (make out for minimum of five minutes) at the nearest corner bar. Have few cervezas or some red wine, served by a grungy old man who spends most of his time in the back watching the futbol game on TV. Share a plate of olives or some microwaved octopus from the tapas counter and, if with friends, constantly interrupt each other during conversation. Possible topics may include: the poor customer service these days, a desperate desire to move out of one’s parent’s house, or how ridiculous South Americans are. Wonder why the Americans sitting in the next seats over actually asked or cared what the ingredients of the tapas were, or if they were actually listed on a menu. Did they seriously just mention an allergy? Who does that?

20:00- Fill up downtime by doing something productive–taking out the dog to poop on the street (leash optional), shopping, peeing in a street corner (men only), taking a cart that looks like a baby buggy for some grocery shopping to buy some eggs that are not kept in the fridge. If the Metro is utilized, step in front of people as necessary. Do not apologize.

22:00- Eat dinner consisting of fried (in olive oil) eggs or an omlette, toast, and pork. Amuse yourself with the idea that in parts of the world, this is breakfast. Watch a dubbed episode of House, Prison Break, Grey’s Anatomy, Dancing With the Stars, or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, flipping back to a Penélope Cruz movie during the 15 minute commercial breaks.

24:00- Go meet friends in bar, dressed in the finest Eurotrash clothing money can buy. Do not be seen sans cigarette. Order some type of liquor with Fanta from the bartender. Pour Fanta from mini-bottle into half-full glass of liquor. Do not tip the bartender. Repeat this for a few hours. Laugh at the Americans downing tequila shots with the Mexicans, mistakenly thinking they are getting more for their money when they order such tiny servings of booze. Do not dance, but stare at the fools who do. Make out with someone, most likely right in front of the bar so people have to walk around awkwardly to order a drink.

3:30- Pay 20 euro to get into a discoteca and dance your cula off to “Put Your Hands Up for Detroit” (important: do NOT put hands up) “I’m So Lucky,” “Irreplaceable,” and “Hips Don’t Lie,” despite the fact that all words are in English. Dance with very strange arm movements and play very hard to get, then bluntly refusing unwanted male attention, sending them off to all the overly-hyped American college girls who will, at first, try to reject them nicely, before they realize that it doesn’t work like that, and are also left wondering whether said man is gay, or just European. Stop drinking somewhat early on, so as not to pass out before 5am, a common amateur mistake made by the same people who are also currently spending their night warding off clingy Ricky Martin wannabees. Laugh to self, throw mullet over shoulder, and sneak into the background of their picture and throw in a sarcastic thumbs up. It has been a good day.***